All posts filed under: Dating Apps

Let’s Talk: Microships

Originally posted on Sublunar Reflections:
Somewhere on the abyss of the Internet I discovered a new word: Microship. As I’ve come to understand it, a microship is a relationship that falls somewhere between friends with benefits and a proper commitment. It’s not just friends with a physical connection; it includes an emotional element too. Just not one that’s necessarily exclusive or fully developed. It’s become common practice for twentysomethings and millennials to invent words for their behaviors. “Sext” wasn’t a word until texting became popularized circa the mid-2000s and “chatting” only came into daily use with the rise of Snapchat in 2011. And all of these new words are, of course, preferable to actually defining a relationship by the old terms. Gone are the days of “going steady” or simply “dating.” Even the definition of “friends with benefits” has gotten a little murky! No, instead of defining our relationships for what they actually are – commitments or lost causes – we invented the word “microship.” I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I’ve found myself…

Beyond A Physical Relationship

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Terms such as “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” are pretty common these days. The hookup culture we live in means less relationships because our time is focused elsewhere. Whether we are career driven, education focused, dream chasing, or just plain selfish. There is a time in our life where relationships just aren’t possible so we avoid the emotional and lean towards the physical. But that time in your life where a relationship isn’t possible doesn’t last forever. There eventually is a time where you are emotionally and physically available. Some start to look for relationships at that time and some choose to veer from them still. There is a time in our lives where we are all ready to settle down, but instead of doing so some choose to stay in the “hooking up” or “friends with benefits” stage. Honestly, the physical thing just gets tiring. As if dating wasn’t hard enough, now you’re not sure if someone just wants to have fun or wants something serious. It’s like you…

OkCupid – The Deep End

Originally posted on Date By Number:
OkCupid analyzes its users’ data and publishes insights in The Deep End. Their recent article takes a look at the changes from 2005 to 2015, with some surprising results, staring with this question: It’s a dramatic drop, but my first reaction was that this could be a reflection of online dating becoming more common, rather than a major shift in sexual behavior. Maybe in 2005, online dating wasn’t as mainstream and OkCupid users tended to be more ‘adventurous’. Now that online dating is more common, the 2015 OkCupid users might include more conservative daters than it did before.  I thought my theory was pretty plausible, until I reached the following question: Any guesses as to why the two questions are trending in the opposite direction? You can find the whole article here. —- For more on OkCupid, see also: Hall of OkStupid #3 at The Lonely Tribalist

Things I Ask Myself While Online Dating

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Is it weird that they asked me out on a date before they even got my number? Why does it put me off so much when the first thing they ask is where I live? Is it rude to start ignoring them cause they’re boring? Is it rude to ignore them in the first place? Why do the words “want to chat?” creep me out so much? Is it weird that they ask for my number instantly? Why do you look cute in some of your pictures, but not others? WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE??? How do I keep this conversation going? What kind of drink would I order if we went to get drinks? Why would you message me if you live 5,000 miles away? Why can’t I find you on Google? Am I just bored or actually trying to date someone? Are my pictures cute? Am I cute? Why isn’t anyone messaging me back on Bumble??? What’s a good first message? Is this how boys feel on Tinder?…

Rejection: The Ghoster And The Ghosted

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Ghosting (verb): The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Let me start out by saying, I have been ghosted before and I have also ghosted slightly. One way of ghosting someone you went out on a date with or hooked up with is just never contacting them again. Never answering their texts, deleting their friend requests, and basically ignoring their existence. If there seemed to be a serious connection, you had been on more than one date, or if you had sex – do not ghost someone. That just sucks. You can’t just ignore someone you got to know personally. It’s rude and childish. I’ve been ghosted like that and all I can really do is shrug my shoulders and move on. It’s not really fair to not…

Special fondness

Originally posted on Let's talk about the L word!:
As you’ve loved, you came to see that true love is rarely felt, and when it happens, it can be easily pointed out. Not saying we’re sure of its existence or strength right from the start but as we awake to the conscience of its presence, we know and we won’t let go. A first love is what it takes to savour its power, the following experiences may be mistakes, unsteady passions, breezy feelings so that the third shot will be charmful and real, and charm is now something you can distinguish with ease, as you’re currently an experimented lover. It took time, a lot of it, and sleepless nights spent thinking of said time, a time that ran only in your heart, never in her head. Your taste in people is elevated now, you with your master’s degree in Feeling Rationalization pinned to your shirt, walk the city, unrushed, freely admiring all the beauty that unnoticed, would call you every time you plodded down that same filthy street. A street bridging the only two states of your depressive modus operandi, according to which…