All posts filed under: Humor

An Ode to Orgasms

Originally posted on The Lonely Tribalist:
O thou ravishing convulsions, Who lie dormant in the day,  And dream of freedom, honeyed revulsions, Yearning for your next lay. O thou bringer of joy and destroyer of woe,  It doth not matter how it occur; You care not if with friend or foe, If it’s sweet and intimate or merely a blur. The quivering. The quaking. The shivering. The shaking. Oh what’s that? Let you free? And you’ll promise me another three… Orgasms are awesome. Here’s some fun reading material on the big O: 10 Reasons You Should Have More Orgasms | Women’s Health What Happens When You Have an Orgasm? These 8 Awesome Health Benefits That Beat Going to the Gym Tonight | Bustle Here’s Why You Can’t Orgasm, According to Science | IFLScience The Female Orgasm Explained by Guys | Buzzfeed A-Z Challenge: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z [Header image source: Pixabay]

Graduation Caps On Fleek

Originally posted on Cookies + Sangria:
When we graduated high school 12 years (!!!!) ago, we didn’t have the option – or maybe didn’t even know there was the option – to decorate the tops of our caps. By college, I think the trend was still out there, but people at my school didn’t delve into their arts & crafts side, despite being an arts school. But now that it’s graduation season again, I am constantly seeing more and more elaborately decorated caps that are more exciting than any commencement I’ve ever attended. And of course, there’s a good chunk out there that were inspired by pop culture, so here are some of the best from the Class of 2016 and their graduation caps on fleek*. *I’m too old to be saying that they’re not “on fleek” I take that back. Where is the lie? https://twitter.com/sincerely_mg/status/731202777700024320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw https://twitter.com/KimsCustomCraft/status/730580623581052928 Queen B for those Queens, B. https://twitter.com/Tykeez/status/728983177491001344 https://twitter.com/aprilthiess/status/733022172793409537 https://twitter.com/lizPLUSbeth/status/733118400667344897?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw http://treaxherous.tumblr.com/post/144406671868/day-2-of-graduation-is-under-way https://www.instagram.com/p/BFhW024NfsF/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BF7YKXtpBck/ https://twitter.com/RevoltTV/status/731234823197609985 https://twitter.com/summerspears_/status/724279768359796736 And of course the wise words of Michael Scott… http://dundermifflinscranton.tumblr.com/post/144852699072 http://dundermifflinscranton.tumblr.com/post/144741979637 Some call it the…

Ten Words That Sound Like Celebrity Baby Names

Originally posted on Cookies + Sangria:
A universe without absurd celebrity baby names would be like a universe without circus peanuts. Some people adore them, some people abhor them, but the world would be a little less sweet — yet fully operational — without them. I have compiled a list of words that sound like celebrity baby names, because that’s just the kind of lady I am. Note that all of these were chosen based on sound and spelling, not meaning. Update: As of June 2013, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their baby North West. Obviously, they’ve taken the “words that sound like celebrity baby names” thing to heart. Rayon (Boy. It will go on to widespread use among commoners. After a few years, a celeb will use it on a girl to be “edgy.” The Internet will be divided about that.) [Ed. note: A not-so-secret secret here at C+S is that we write/queue our posts up to a month in advance. A few weeks after I wrote this, this post appeared: a (non-celeb) Rayon…

The 9 Types of People You Encounter at Starbucks

Originally posted on Confessions of a 20-something:
The “I’m in a hurry” business person. They whisper their order while on the phone. Just a double espresso for them. They throw their card at you and of course don’t bother to tip. They will bump into someone and cause them to spill their freshly prepared triple tall, no room, extra hot, soy latte. Does the business person stop and offer to buy a new latte for them? Nope. They have to get into the office. Now. P.S. You get decaf espresso. The triple tall, no room, extra hot, soy latte lady. It took her years to get her order just right, so she doesn’t care if it takes everyone behind her in line years to get their’s either. “Um, are you sure this soy?” The work-from-home outlet hog. Working from home does not mean working from Starbucks. You order a drip coffee when you first arrive and then stay there for hours taking up space and hogging the outlet because you want a change of scenery? Move over, I need…

Illustrations Of Our Daily Struggles

Originally posted on Emily Bloor:
Last night I couldn’t sleep. It’s not like insomnia is a a new phenomenon, but for me it is. I usually sleep like a baby, or like my brother after a Friday night in the pub; you get my drift. But drift I did not, and it was horrendous. It would appear that I don’t have as much to worry about at the moment, since I quit my job, left the frantic insomniac that is London and moved to this sunny, slow-paced place to become a writer. But this is the very problem. I am now consumed by trivial worry; the ironic kind of worry that busy people don’t have the time for. Along with this new worry however, has come a solitude in simple things, and one of those things is sketching. I sketch day and night; through the entire Super Bowl, much to the delight of my man; and through my insomnia. But in Googling inspiration for my sketches (my drawing hand works at 3am, my brain does…

You Want to Know Why Writers are Crazy?

Originally posted on That Weird Brown Girl:
We have a million different people, with completely different personalities, all living in a thousand different worlds, feeling a spectrum of emotions, uttering countless words ever know to man, all of this, trapped inside our single, seemingly irrelevant, soul. We find it hard to grapple with reality, when the only reality that we know are infused with the makings of our fantasy addled brain, thus rendering the actual world as mundane or just plain boring. We find it hard to be vocal about a good many things, while, at the same time, find it even harder to keep them bottled up, thus, making writing a curiously calm realm, between the comfort of our thoughts, and the scrutiny of others. We fall in love, not with physical appearances, but with the thoughts, words, and feelings of a character, making them seem more real, while the people around us reduce to hallucinations. We strive to bring out the beauty and the terrible truth of something trivial, making it seem like…

Things I Ask Myself While Online Dating

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Is it weird that they asked me out on a date before they even got my number? Why does it put me off so much when the first thing they ask is where I live? Is it rude to start ignoring them cause they’re boring? Is it rude to ignore them in the first place? Why do the words “want to chat?” creep me out so much? Is it weird that they ask for my number instantly? Why do you look cute in some of your pictures, but not others? WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE??? How do I keep this conversation going? What kind of drink would I order if we went to get drinks? Why would you message me if you live 5,000 miles away? Why can’t I find you on Google? Am I just bored or actually trying to date someone? Are my pictures cute? Am I cute? Why isn’t anyone messaging me back on Bumble??? What’s a good first message? Is this how boys feel on Tinder?…