All posts filed under: cultural norms

Manners Can Kill

Originally posted on The Musing Quill:
Apparently, manners and I don’t get along well. Don’t look so surprised. Not yet. Save it up for what comes next. If you’ve been following this blog you’d already know that I have never been the best kid in the world. Blame the generation gap, blame me, and blame whoever you like. But that’s that. For one, I love to be left alone by which I mean I am the last person who would willingly invite or visit people, let alone be hospitable. And my parents have never been able to understand why. Usually, when I am supposed to meet visitors at home (which, by the way, I hate most), I do it for the sake of my parents and yeah, also because who later wants to go through endless hours of exhausting verbal tyranny of sorts. All the smiles, the greetings, if only the visitors knew how fake all of it was, they’d never again show up. Yeah, go ahead, call me an antisocial shrew. Now, the biggest…

Expectations Suck

Originally posted on Pos+ Casts:
I am a classic people pleaser. I don’t know how it happened or why I do it but I can not help but want to please everyone. I don’t mind it most of the time because I get an immense amount of gratification from it. I like that the people around me are happy. It makes me really happy too. I want everyone to be having a good time so I help facilitate it. I also know how most of my close friends will react to certain situations or what they are sensitive about so I try my hardest to cater to their needs. The problem that most people see with being a people pleaser is that you forget about yourself. Which I sometimes have a habit of doing but I honestly don’t mind. Hell, sometimes I don’t even notice. The major problem that I face or the thing that gets to me the most is when expectations arise. Because I do all of these things for people over and…

What Makes a Woman Confident?

Originally posted on Just another millennial living with her parents:
I feel as though this is a popular topic to discuss. The topic of confidence. I don’t speak to men, when it comes to matters of confidence – Ladies, I’m telling you – They have enough. Men, men, are so flipping confident these days. I tell you, I’ve never met a single male, anywhere, that hasn’t told me what to do. They tell me what I should be doing with my time. Of course, I shouldn’t be wasting so much time, worrying about my student loans – But I do. It’s all I can think about. I go hard, get what’s mine, take what’s mine. I work hard these days, and I must tell you, confess to you, ladies – My confidence is directly related to my money. These days, I feel a lot of pep in my step. I’ve bolstered up my student loan payments, and I feel good. Actually, I feel great. I’ve traded in my butter knife for a tomahawk, and I’m…

I Didn’t Watch the Super Bowl

When I got to work on Monday, the first thing a coworker asked me was, “How did the game treat you last night?” I almost responded, “Really well! After we killed the mind controlling plant, we finally had enough XP to level up! I can’t wait–I’ve got my eye on some new spells for my elf.” And then I realized she wasn’t asking how my bimonthly Dungeons and Dragons game went. She was talking about that football game. By the time I got words out of my mouth, I replied, “Oh, I don’t football.” As a matter of fact, I don’t even know who played in the Super Bowl this year. I certainly can’t tell you who won. I really should be a football fan. I grew up with parents who watched the Cowboys like a religion. I know many of the rules and can follow a game easily. My fiance played football in high school, although that was long before I knew him. I drive regularly on Tom Landry Freeway, passing a giant picture …

Transcending America: How Russell Westbrook, Odell Beckham and Cameron Newton Have Changed Black Masculinity

Originally posted on The Uppity Negro:
It’s time for a new black male aesthetic.   Especially one that captures decolonized postmodern black masculinity as well as one that has ontologically transcendent capabilities.  In simpler terms, an aesthetic that allows for black masculinity to not be defined by archaic norms in the realm of fashion, black male-to-male relationships and how one images themselves for the sake of respectability politics. The year 2012 was significant for black male masculinity on several fronts, far too many to discuss here, many of which were around how black men were entering public conversations about black women and black male privilege in social media spheres, to the way that black urban fashion had shed much of its nascent hip hop bagginess trading it in for fitted and skinny jeans, Obama was running for re-election, same-sex marriage in black religious circles was a hot-button topic as the president came out in favor of it, more and more young people were freer to talk about sex and sexuality and at the same time the demographic remained woefully…

Thoughts on the Resting B**ch Face

Originally posted on Chiradox |ˈkīrəˌdäks |:
Okay, so here’s the thing; there are some people who just look angry in every day life. ?Yes, it’s true; when in a neutral mood?these survivors of resting bitch face exhibit what might be mistaken as a festering?rage. ?I’m sure everyone knows this though. ?These people are constantly having to explain that they’re “alright” and that “really, nothings wrong,” which is why society took it upon itself to create a quick explanation for their condemnation?so that they don’t have to go through the wingding of a long drawn out answer to why they’re wearing the face that they were born with. And all that’s great and good. But then something went wrong. Suddenly it became cool to have Resting Bitch Face Disorder. ?Suddenly, everyone wanted to have a resting bitch face that they could wear around like disposable 3D glasses with the lenses popped out – as a style. ?And we all just sat back, silently idle, letting it happen. So now, you come across people who…

I Hate Texting

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
It’s no secret that everyone is glued to their phones. Some people love to bash the way we use technology. They get aggravated over cell phone use at dinner and kids always taking selfies. But really, it’s no different than when we used to plop ourselves down in front of the tv or spend 45 minutes setting up a camera to film something. I love technology, I love social media, I love taking pictures and videos, I find phone calls uncomfortable, but I hate texting. I got my cell phone a little bit later in life than most people. Most of my friends had them by 7th or 8th grade, where as I didn’t get mine until halfway through my freshman year of high school. I was attached to the thing 24/7 (unless I was grounded and it was taken away which happened often). During my first real relationship, we were in contact all day, every day. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed,…

Here’s What I Mean When I Say “Pro Black Doesn’t Mean Anti-White”

Originally posted on Black Millennials:
To be pro-Black does not mean to be anti-white. To be pro-Black means to be anti-white supremacy. I wrote these words in a piece about interracial dating some months ago. The piece argues that being pro-Black means to affirm Black bodies, spirit, and culture while denouncing the evils of white supremacy as unnatural, deadly, and unsustainable. Pro-Blackness is a value system that demands the centering of Black people in a structural world designed by the white ruling corporatist class. Some elements of pro-Blackness posit the belief that white supremacy must be thoroughly destroyed for everlasting Black survival. Upon writing that piece, I’ve seen and heard many — mostly Black folk — similarly express that the pro-Black value system does not ultimately condemn “all” white people, just the omnipotent network of institutions, structures, systems, and constructs derived from white supremacist ideology, and the individual agents that empower them. From social media feeds to think pieces, I’ve seen these expressions manifested in digital space. In the physical realm, I’ve seen nonprofit professionals try to embed the sentiment in grant proposals.…

White!

Originally posted on ipeniwrite:
“Do you want to build a snow man?” “Yes! I’d love to build a snow man”…continues. Taken by Monica..jUST outside our window 🙂 I woke my house mates up this morning with my croaky dying voice, ranting this song aloud. I really I’m so hyped and excited about it snowing this morning. I mean, who blogs about this? hahaha. I don’t get to see this where I come from, Nigeria, so to me it feels so amazing seeing it. Only in deep freezers probably haha but trust me this is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen this week, this year to be honest. It isn’t the first time I’m seeing snow here in the UK ?but definitely the first time here in Brighton. It was flaky last year and I never expected it to snow this year considering the persistent rain that we’ve had the past few months. Today is so beautiful, so is how I’m feeling at the moment. Didn’t sleep the whole morning as I was studying for the…

Have the holidays become too stressful?

Originally posted on Michelle Leigh Writes:
The holiday season is in full gear. As we have already passed Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Christmas is just around the corner. And I have to say that I’m still slightly in disbelief at how quickly its come, yet again. As I get older, I’ve realized something. Time speeds by, each year it gets quicker and quicker. Everything becomes stressful and timed, and we make it more commercial then spiritual and magical like it should be. I remember when I was a kid, I used to get so excited when Christmas was near. It was my favorite time of year. I remember decorating the tree with my family and playing Christmas songs as early as October, sometimes even in the summer time because I was just so infatuated. Now it seems as though no one has time for anything anymore. No time to decorate, or shop, or be festive. Everything is like warp speed and before we even get to Thanksgiving they are already shoving Christmas down our throats. Stores commercialize…