All posts filed under: dear diary

He Said That he liked me as a friend – 22nd & 23rd October 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Thursday 22ndI was in a really miserable mood this morning. I think I was tired after being on a high last night but I just felt really down. Ed’s party doesn’t help. It’s going ahead on Saturday night and Ed only asked me coz Emma made him. That didn’t make me feel too good, I can tell you. Reuben Leigh (he left our primary school and I used to really like him) is going and Emma says Ewan is. I know what I’m like though. I always get my hopes up but then get disappointed and Emma always throws herself at people who she likes so I probably won’t have any chance. Either that or they won’t be there. I don’t even know if I’m going yet. Freda is having a sleepover tomorrow night. Hopefully that’ll be good but if I do go on Saturday I’ll probably be knackered! BYE! Saturday 21st Freda’s sleepover went okay last night. Nothing really interesting happened but she got a photo of…

I Don’t Know What’s So Special About Emma – 31st August & 1st September 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Monday 31stI went to town today with Emma. At the bus stop here, Emma was telling me that Freddie turned up at her house this morning and the truth came out about him and Martha. He did do it with her. He said that they were just kissing and they fell on the couch. I’m really annoyed about that coz he’d been saying all night about how he wanted to get back with Emma etc. She was also telling me that she and Suzanna rang Charlie Wilson yesterday and he was going on about some girl. Now she’s decided she doesn’t like anyone. I asked her who was a possibility and she said Ferny. Oh great, cheers Emma. She said she doesn’t actually like him now but she might sometime. I’ll have to try and put her off him somehow. We got to town and eventually found Suzanna. We went back to her house and didn’t really do much. We’d been trying to get through to Connor but…

Drinking, Smoking, Snogging, Fighting – 21st August 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Friday 21stEmma’s now had Daz O’Brien on the phone to warn her off Howler. He’s jealous coz he supposedly fancies Emma too! They’re all going to the cinema tonight. I’ve decided not to coz: – it’s in Wigan with people I don’t really know – Mum’ll worry so I’ll feel guilty – I still don’t feel 100% – Howler was taking the piss out of my name and saving bonds and stuff on the phone last night – I haven’t got the energy – I can’t think straight so I couldn’t get Howler back as well as I probably normally could. I did go round to Emma’s before and just got off the bus here whilst she, Ralph and Freddie carried on to town. Freddie’s after Suzanna the Slapper tonight and so’s another lad. Howler, Daz and Ralph (possibly) are after Emma. Damn, I might be missing a fight. I need some entertainment! Never mind. Whilst Ralph went off with Emma on the way to the bus stop,…

We Discovered a Place Called Twatt! – 1st-7th August 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Saturday 1stSpent most of the day travelling then stopped here at the Royal Dunkeld Hotel. There was a Scottie dog here called Fergus at the same time as us. I thought I had a brain tuma [Oh, come on. I was a better speller than that.] coz I’d had a headache all day but Mum and Dad said it was sinusitis coz it was in my nose too. At tea there was this man with really bad B.O. and we had to move coz Abby was nearly sick! BYE! Sunday 2nd I got even more worried about my brain as I had another headache. We stayed overnight ay my cousins’ house in Wick but their family went away so we didn’t see them then. When we got there we realised that the tickets for the ferry to Orkney were gone so Mum had to sort it out. I needed a hug for some reason and started wishing I had a boyfriend. I dunno what brought it on but…

My Early Quarter Life Crisis

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How old do you have to be to have a quarter life crisis? Is it possible to have a quarter life crisis when you’re not even in the quarter of you life? What can you do to make sure that when you are ready to move onto the next stage of your life you won’t regret not doing more?

Suzanna the Slapper – 3rd & 4th July 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Friday 3rd We had today off school coz it’s an inset day so Rachael came to my house. We were phoning everyone to try and get them to come down to the village but we decided not to bother in the end coz it wasn’t fair on Emma coz she’d gone shopping. We rang Freddie and had a short conversation with him and we also rang Ralph. I was on for quite a while to him. I apologised again for last night and he said he wanted to ask me something but he wouldn’t tell me over the phone. I told him I still liked him and that I wouldn’t never go out with him. That didn’t seem to help matters and he said he was just getting depressed again. Later on we phoned Graham Baxter. Rach really wanted someone else to do it coz she fancies him and was embarrassed but I wouldn’t. She ended up asking him if he wanted to come to the cinema next…

All she seems to talk about is her hair – 18th June 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Thursday 18thI’ve been feeling a bit left out of everything for the last couple of days. It might just be me being sensitive bit it feels as if nobody really cares I’m there. – Emma’s too busy with Freddie all the time and all she seems to talk about is her hair and how many spots she has today. – Hayley would rather I wasn’t here at all coz she’s decided she wants a boyfriend so has started fancying Ferny again and, of course, I’m competition aren’t I? – Ralph just doesn’t give a toss about me anymore which is a big difference from the beginning of last week. – Rachael went to Emma’s house last night and they phoned Freddie and evidently they were talking about me. I dunno what was said though. – Ed seems to think I’ve been telling Dougie (James Douglas) things about him when I haven’t said a word. I dunno what’s going on. I also get the feeling that nobody’s telling me…

A massive wave of jealousy and annoyance came over me – 12th June 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Friday 12th [Cleo the cat’s hairs sellotaped in to my diary foreverrrrrr. Well, for 18 years. Still pretty gross.] An awful end to an awful week. Ralph hates me and I’m ill. We went to the cinema tonight with Emma, Freddie, Hayley, Lindsey Bullman, Georgia Dean, Safiyah L and Olivia. We all split up. Georgia and Safiyah saw Sliding Doors, Lindsey and Olivia saw Scream 2 and me, Ralph, Freddie, Emma and Hayley all went to see The Wedding Singer. It was quite a good film but Ralph went all miserable and sat on his own. Hayley said he said I was a bitch but Emma said he said an evil witch. Either way – BASTARD! Well, he wasn’t much company on the way to McDonald’s either. There were just the four of is coz Hayley went early with everyone else. He didn’t say one word to me. I don’t understand coz he spoke to me in school. I know he’s gone off me and doesn’t like me…

Ralph gave me his last Rolo – 2nd June 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Tuesday 2ndRalph still likes me anyway. You know off the advert when it says, “Do you love someone enough to give them your last Rolo?” Well, Ralph gave me his last Rolo after school. He came up to me and said, “There’s my last Rolo, just for you.” I thought that was really sweet and I couldn’t stop smiling for ages. People must have thought I was a right nutter, grinning away to myself like that! I saved the packet. Sad, I know. → BYE!

I might never get married. Who knows?! – 20th April 1998

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Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Monday 20thP. [Period.] It’s scary how fast time seems to be going at the moment. It hardly seems any time at all since I first started school in Year 7 and now I’m in Year 10 and more than half way through. It seems ages away until my major GCSE exams but everything is going so quickly. Back at school today. Back to normal. Normal shouldn’t be being at school but term time is the way it is more than anything else and it’s the routine I’ve got used to. I’d rather we had more holidays, even with the boring bits. That’s one advantage about school – I never seem to get bored. I mean, I don’t like some of the lessons much but I’m always doing something. Then at lunch and break I can catch up on all the gossip or watch Ralph and co playing sad little ball games on the tennis courts. I suppose if we didn’t have school then I would never have known…