All posts filed under: drunk

Drunk Post: Bottle of Moscato

Originally posted on Fred Colton:
He bought it for girls and pre-opened it so he wouldn’t strain and puff out his cheeks trying to pop the cork while they’re over. Then he had some. Took it down the top of the label. But on an empty stomach he might as well be Amish at a frat party. He realizes that it’s almost September, which means it’s pretty much Christmas already. Which means it’s already 2016 which means he’s already dead. Which puts things in perspective. It’s all stupid. He could write the greatest page of his life and post it and the glory would last as long as an orgasm. It’s all stupid. Especially his job where he says things to children who then actively work to forget them after class. And also the pursuit of skirt which goes well but only because he’s a 9 in Seoul. In Boston he’s a 4. Or maybe a negative 4. Anyway. Those successes also last as long as an orgasm. And then working out for hours with…