All posts filed under: Marriage

Mirrors

Originally posted on The Renegade Press:
“A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.” -Elizabeth Gilbert I used to believe that I was a man who had been blessed with the gift of intellect. I spent years convinced that I was the smartest person in any room; often closing myself off from the opinions of others. I would gnash my teeth at the slightest hint of conflict, and reveled in my ability to push my own agendas onto others, whilst belittling theirs. Yet while I thought that I was a magnificent mind perpetually on the cusp of achieving great things, the truth is that I was a bit of a dick. I bruised egos, hurt feelings, and let down the people closest to me. During these volatile years, I was tolerable at best, and a horribly bitter person at my worst. I convinced myself that I was the most important individual in…

Travel Fail: My Honeymoon Hooker in Oz

Originally posted on CARLVERSUSLIFE.COM:
Sydney proved an amazing starting point for our 2015 honeymoon adventure (after a 4 day stop over in Dubai, of course). We were on the other side of the world and loving life. Four days in and we had ticked all the tourist boxes; beaches, Blue Mountains, kangaroos, koalas, Darling Harbour, Circular Quay, boat trips and of course, Sydney Opera House (see Travel Fail: Sydney Opera House – whoops! Yep, we kinda make a habit of this kinda thing over here). We were Sydney-satisfied and hungry to see more of Australia. It was our last night and we had decided to stay in, pack our bags, order a takeaway and sort ourselves out a hooker for the night. Hold on. Wait. What? Let’s backtrack… We were off to Cairns early the next morning and decided to spend the evening in our hotel room. Time was ticking away and it was fast approaching 10pm before we realised we hadn’t had a bite to eat all evening. We decided to hit up TripAdvisor…

How to Deal with Money Personality Differences in Relationships

We are all created differently. Our differences is what helps us grow, change and adapt. By learning from each other, we not only see the importance of relationships, but appreciate others strengths as they help us in building our weaknesses. Your strength may be someone else’s weaknesses and many times we tend to be attracted to people that complement our strengths and weaknesses. Money is no different. Generally speaking, we can categorize people into groups: saver and spender. I hate grouping people, or making generalizations, but in some circumstances like these, it will have to do. Of course not all spenders are bad with managing their money and saving, and not all savers are hoarders of cash and hate to spend. With that being said, I will generalize and conclude that in my household, I am the saver in the relationship and Mr. MMC is the spender. This has its benefits and drawbacks of course. As I learn each day to let go of some coin from time to time (…okay I am not that…

More Than a Bride

A funny thing happened when I got engaged. After nearly a year of engagement, it’s no longer comical. I’m having trouble being polite about it now. I’m starting to wish I had eloped. I became nothing more than a bride. With the exception of my closest friends, it seems no one knows what to say to me except, “How is the wedding planning going?” Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem if I had more interest in planning my wedding. But I am the world’s most lackadaisical bride. I’m the polar opposite of a bridezilla. Case in point: When my mother freaked out about how we were going to decorate the stage for the ceremony (nine months before my wedding), I appeased her by saying we could add some plants. She asked what type of plants I wanted. I replied, “Green ones.” People I have known for years no longer have anything to say to me except to ask about my wedding. People I barely know have offered to help plan it. People are also great …

For Better, For Worse, or For Now?

*Disclaimer: for those of you that don’t pick up internet sarcasm well, in this post it’s everything written in italics. When I was in high school I used to jokingly say that I was probably going to get married twice. According to various articles, this joke is highly likely to be my reality. It’s commonly referred to as a starter marriage or beta marriage. For the past five or so years previous generations have been writing about how generation y is ruining changing the institution of marriage. The typical posts talk about how we’re getting married sooooo much later. Apparently we’re more likely to get married at 27 (women) and 29 (men) than 20 (women) and 23 (men). I guess it’s preferred that we pop out children right after high school, although we had to get permission to use the bathroom just 10 minutes ago. Some writers have even referenced television shows that perpetuate this behavior. The one thing these articles all have in common? Blaming social media, dating apps, and other forms of technology for our “change of …

Marriage Has Changed My Life

Originally posted on Writings By Ender:
  A while ago my wife, Jasmin, asked me to help her in the kitchen. I had recently graduated from a demanding year-and-a-half-long language course, so I had time to learn to cook. “Cube the chicken,” she asked. I went to the kitchen counter with a knife and lightly sawed the meat. While cutting my first and only slice of chicken, I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise; my wife was staring at me. “You’re taking so long,” she groaned. It had taken me nearly a minute to separate one strip of chicken. “Here,” she sighed. “Just put a tablespoon of oil on the pan, I’ll do the rest.” And I poured a teaspoon instead.   I’ve been married less than six months and I still have many lessons to learn before I become an adept spouse; I can’t cook and I still grumble when we do chores. But six months wasn’t going to change those things — though given different circumstances I could have learned to…

Things to Consider Pre-Marriage

I recently received some unsolicited, though much appreciated, advice from a few elders about relationships. Though I am quite a few years away from marriage, they had a few tips on things to do before considering marriage. I would be selfish if I didn’t share. 1. Talk about the life you desire If nothing else, discuss marriage and children. If your significant other doesn’t want either and you do, you can stop right here. 2. Take note to their behavior …especially the little things. Don’t overlook the big things (i.e. arguments) either. Just pay attention to everything. As the saying goes, when people show you who they are, believe them. 3. Travel together Travel can be stressful. Long car rides, enclosed spaces, and plans gone wrong can bring out the worst in people. Going on a trip is a great way to see how well your partner handles you in high stress situations. 4. Live together This one is debatable. Some studies show that couples that live together before marriage tend to have a higher divorce rate. I don’t know …

When Women Become Adults

Originally posted on Just another millennial living with her parents:
I’ll start by saying that the inspiration for writing this came to me when I read this article by The Atlantic, “When are you really an adult?” It’s on my mind a lot. After all, I live with my parents. Unfortunately, I think our culture gets it straight up wrong when it comes to women becoming adults. A gown up woman is what I need to be, or so I’ve heard. If I’m not actively dating anyone, it means I’ve eschewed marriage all together. I’m asexual. I would not be discussing this topic if people were not so damn presumptuous with me on the topic of getting married or having children. Maybe some sense in me a sign of struggle when they look at my tired eyes. The truth is, I am struggling. The difference between their perceptions and my own is that any time I’m “struggling,” it’s because I’m single. It’s like Sesame Street. S for struggle. S for single. They must go together,…

I might never get married. Who knows?! – 20th April 1998

Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Monday 20thP. [Period.] It’s scary how fast time seems to be going at the moment. It hardly seems any time at all since I first started school in Year 7 and now I’m in Year 10 and more than half way through. It seems ages away until my major GCSE exams but everything is going so quickly. Back at school today. Back to normal. Normal shouldn’t be being at school but term time is the way it is more than anything else and it’s the routine I’ve got used to. I’d rather we had more holidays, even with the boring bits. That’s one advantage about school – I never seem to get bored. I mean, I don’t like some of the lessons much but I’m always doing something. Then at lunch and break I can catch up on all the gossip or watch Ralph and co playing sad little ball games on the tennis courts. I suppose if we didn’t have school then I would never have known…