All posts filed under: online dating

OkCupid – The Deep End

Originally posted on Date By Number:
OkCupid analyzes its users’ data and publishes insights in The Deep End. Their recent article takes a look at the changes from 2005 to 2015, with some surprising results, staring with this question: It’s a dramatic drop, but my first reaction was that this could be a reflection of online dating becoming more common, rather than a major shift in sexual behavior. Maybe in 2005, online dating wasn’t as mainstream and OkCupid users tended to be more ‘adventurous’. Now that online dating is more common, the 2015 OkCupid users might include more conservative daters than it did before.  I thought my theory was pretty plausible, until I reached the following question: Any guesses as to why the two questions are trending in the opposite direction? You can find the whole article here. —- For more on OkCupid, see also: Hall of OkStupid #3 at The Lonely Tribalist

Why I’m Not a Slut for Being on Tinder

Originally posted on Almost Couture:
I don’t really tend to do ranty, rambly posts on my blog; to be honest, there’s a time and place for that, and I don’t really feel like it’s my little corner of the internet where shoes are king. However, I’ve had a pretty rubbish week – I’d go even as far as to say a crap week – because I was called a slut for being on Tinder. Which, frankly, isn’t fair. A quick bit of a backstory here: sadly, before Christmas, The Boyfriend and I broke up.?It was rubbish and pants and a bit flat for a while, but I have great friends and a cracking job, so I feel good; all shiny and bright, which is really unlike me. Purely for the giggles, I downloaded Tinder whilst out on a girls’ night, and have spent many a humorous ten minutes frantically swiping yes for ‘Peter, 45, three kids and a Staffie’ with pals over a couple of Cosmos. Tinder is weird. I still don’t quite understand what…

Things I Ask Myself While Online Dating

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Is it weird that they asked me out on a date before they even got my number? Why does it put me off so much when the first thing they ask is where I live? Is it rude to start ignoring them cause they’re boring? Is it rude to ignore them in the first place? Why do the words “want to chat?” creep me out so much? Is it weird that they ask for my number instantly? Why do you look cute in some of your pictures, but not others? WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE??? How do I keep this conversation going? What kind of drink would I order if we went to get drinks? Why would you message me if you live 5,000 miles away? Why can’t I find you on Google? Am I just bored or actually trying to date someone? Are my pictures cute? Am I cute? Why isn’t anyone messaging me back on Bumble??? What’s a good first message? Is this how boys feel on Tinder?…

Rejection: The Ghoster And The Ghosted

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Ghosting (verb): The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Let me start out by saying, I have been ghosted before and I have also ghosted slightly. One way of ghosting someone you went out on a date with or hooked up with is just never contacting them again. Never answering their texts, deleting their friend requests, and basically ignoring their existence. If there seemed to be a serious connection, you had been on more than one date, or if you had sex – do not ghost someone. That just sucks. You can’t just ignore someone you got to know personally. It’s rude and childish. I’ve been ghosted like that and all I can really do is shrug my shoulders and move on. It’s not really fair to not…

Why We Settle And Why I Get It

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Relationships are a fragile thing. One string becomes frayed, it gets snagged, and the whole thing unravels into your hands. You never saw it coming. Basically since the start of this blog, I’ve expressed my fears on settling. Especially settling for someone you don’t really love. Settling for less than fireworks, all in romance, and perfection in a relationship. It’s easy to see how often relationships don’t work out. People get married at 24 and 50 years later they hate each other but still live under the same roof. They have kids and argue in front of them. They get a divorce and live bitterly. They miss out on a chance at happiness and a fulfilling life because they settled. They tried to make something work that just wasn’t going to work. We get to an age where we’re supposed to get married. It’s the time to settle down. You need someone to move in with, you need extra health benefits, you need the extra paycheck, your biological clock is…

Overwhelmed…

Originally posted on Dating Documented:
Hello there lovelies, As you know, I have been seeing Mr. Sweet-Guitar-Player for about 2 months now. For a while I thought “Sure, I could date this guy seriously.” I think I might have been wrong. To be honest this  blog post is more for me than it is for you. I needed to see a list in front of me that documented the reasons I’m not feeling it anymore. It feels like we have run our course. We don’t do fun stuff anymore and we don’t have a ton to talk about. I don’t think we have as much in common as I thought we did. I’m just not attracted to him. The sex isn’t great. It isn’t even good. I don’t get butterflies, I don’t feel the constant need to be around him. It feels more like an obligation and I hate that.  Mr. Finally! I hate this because the last thing I want to do is hurt him because he truly is an incredible person, he’s just…

Catfish Style

In the past two weeks, I’ve had at least two of my friends mention online dating. Either they were encouraged to do it by someone else or they knew people who were already 40 profiles deep into a Catfish episode. Now, I don’t mean to diss anyone who might have found love in a hopeless place, but honestly, what has our generation come to? When people can only meet through virtual reality and text messaging apps, you have to ask the question. I realize that times are changing and the world is growing even more technologically based. Almost everything we do and see is electronic, but what happened to good old fashion face-to-face communication? Call me ole skool, but I don’t think that you can actually ever really know a person until you spend quality time with them…in person. See this is the root of the problem. You talk to a guy/girl for months online and you fall for the idea of the person they have created – the person they want you to believe …

Deity of Douchebags…

Originally posted on Dating Documented:
I was chatting with a fella who was a little too anxious to be in a relationship. This is what I’m learning about Tinder. They are either too eager to start a relationship and say things that shouldn’t be said to a complete stranger, or they just want sexy time. Mr. Self-proclaimed-asshole and I had been chatting for about a week and a half and I was trying to find his texts sweet rather than stalkerish. Some of them include…. “I’m so lucky to wake up with you around tomorrow morning” “I’m not like your ex-boyfriend. I’m the change” “I can’t wait to meet the girl who is growing on me and warming my heart so much” I remind you, dearest reader, that at the time that I received these texts, I had never met this guy in person before. That should have been enough of a red flag, but I will infinitely give someone the benefit of the doubt. Finally the time came and we went on a date…to…

Learning things and shit…

Originally posted on Dating Documented:
I went on a date two nights ago. I learned a lot of things and shit.I guess that’s the point of this whole experience right? I like motorcycles. It doesn’t matter how pretty a fella is, sometimes staring into his beautiful face doesn’t drown out the stupid shit he says such as; (in response to the question, “what do you like doing for fun?”) “Nothing. I just like laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.” (in reference to me losing my dad) “That’s cool. He just checked out before everybody else did. Life’s short anyway-he’s lucky.” “There’s a tree in Arizona that smells like jizz.” “What are your Tinder goals?” “I have a philosophy called ‘cows in the pasture’. Nobody has heard of it; because I made it up. I used to drive to work and there were these cows in the field and I realized they didn’t know what a car was or that I was going to work. I figure that we are all cows who…

The Inevitable Has Finally Come…

Originally posted on Dating Documented:
I’ve been seeing this really great guy (Mr. Possiblity) for 2(?) weeks now. We have only been on two dates but we text every day for most of the day. I have been very, very careful in taking this slow, and making sure I’m not doing anything to lead him on. It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s that I’m just not sure yet. In all honesty, it’s that I’m scared shitless. About what, I can’t be quite sure. I never ever wanted to be the girl who let her past relationships get in the way of the opportunity for new ones, but I’m learning that that’s not going to be the case. I think (subconsciously?) The Ex really fucked me up. Or I let him. I don’t know. All I know is I am building myself a new version of the Great Wall of China to keep in my emotions and keep out anyone who might want to get close to me. This makes me even more mad…