Originally posted on Unemployed and Unenthused:
I’ve mentioned before that I don’t think any of my cover letters have ever been read.  I believe this to still be the case.  If they had been, somebody would surely have contacted me by now.  I can’t say that every letter has been 100% original, but I can say that each one has contained something that should make a hiring authority either want to know more or question my sanity.  Here are the excerpts… “Dear Martha Stewart (or appropriate hiring authority):” “Some people see life as an epic poem — a hero navigating trials and temptations, eager to please the gods but cursed with all the flaws of mortality.  I find these people insufferable.” “I recently finished a fourteen lecture audiobook titled A Way With Words: Writing, Rhetoric, and the Art of Persuasion — presumably because I need more friends.” “Everybody hates a stylized resume that’s trying too hard — my apologies in advance for the wacky PDF I uploaded in lieu of a standard resume.  It’s just that…