gen y, generation y, Humor, job, life, Lifestyle, Millennial, resume, Satire, Stories, Work
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Dear Anyone: Notice Me, Please.

Unemployed and Unenthused

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t think any of my cover letters have ever been read.  I believe this to still be the case.  If they had been, somebody would surely have contacted me by now.  I can’t say that every letter has been 100% original, but I can say that each one has contained something that should make a hiring authority either want to know more or question my sanity.  Here are the excerpts…

“Dear Martha Stewart (or appropriate hiring authority):”

“Some people see life as an epic poem — a hero navigating trials and temptations, eager to please the gods but cursed with all the flaws of mortality.  I find these people insufferable.”

“I recently finished a fourteen lecture audiobook titled A Way With Words: Writing, Rhetoric, and the Art of Persuasion — presumably because I need more friends.”

“Everybody hates a stylized resume that’s trying too hard —…

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