All posts tagged: Relationships

Mirrors

Originally posted on The Renegade Press:
“A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.” -Elizabeth Gilbert I used to believe that I was a man who had been blessed with the gift of intellect. I spent years convinced that I was the smartest person in any room; often closing myself off from the opinions of others. I would gnash my teeth at the slightest hint of conflict, and reveled in my ability to push my own agendas onto others, whilst belittling theirs. Yet while I thought that I was a magnificent mind perpetually on the cusp of achieving great things, the truth is that I was a bit of a dick. I bruised egos, hurt feelings, and let down the people closest to me. During these volatile years, I was tolerable at best, and a horribly bitter person at my worst. I convinced myself that I was the most important individual in…

I Did Him Wrong. 

Originally posted on lilrant:
I once had the good fortune of dating a guy who was working on a start up for quite a while. Good guy. Great sense of humor, great grammar, great personality. I didn’t understand him, I didn’t.? Not that I didn’t try.? I didn’t know what you’re supposed to say to someone with passion that Michelangelo would have been jealous of. This person would work hours into the night, creating a logo. He didn’t have a functional company, but at least he had the idea, all he wanted to do was start a business, and be his own boss. He had too many ideas I didn’t understand.? We couldn’t have been more different.? He was passionate, and me, lacklustre. Where he was driven and had his own ideas, I was okay with being told what to do. We were chalk and cheese. He wasn’t actively making money, and when he said he was working, I secretly felt weird because he didn’t have an “actual job” or even office space! I was…

The Ups And Downs Of A Flirtationship

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Flirtationship (n) – A social situation that comprises of more than a friendship, but less than a relationship; when you regularly flirt with a friend but do no more. Flirtationships are tricky because they have no definitive lines. At the moment, this relationship is nothing. But could it be something? One person may think participating in a flirtationship could lead to something serious. Another could think that a flirtationship is just a something light and easy with no strings attached. The main aspect of a flirtationship is that nothing physical has occurred. There’s TONS of compliments exchanged, giggles, maybe some hand holding – but any kind of hook up beyond that would be a friends with benefits situation. Which is a whole other can of crazy. The upside of a flirtationship is that you are likely getting the attention you need. It occupies your time and satisfies your need for a little positive interaction. Especially when you’re not ready for a relationship. It barely takes up any of your real…

Manners Can Kill

Originally posted on Asha's Blog:
Apparently, manners and I don’t get along well. Don’t look so surprised. Not yet. Save it up for what comes next. If you’ve been following this blog you’d already know that I have never been the best kid in the world. Blame the generation gap, blame me, and blame whoever you like. But that’s that. For one, I love to be left alone by which I mean I am the last person who would willingly invite or visit people, let alone be hospitable. And my parents have never been able to understand why. Usually, when I am supposed to meet visitors at home (which, by the way, I hate most), I do it for the sake of my parents and yeah, also because who later wants to go through endless hours of exhausting verbal tyranny of sorts. All the smiles, the greetings, if only the visitors knew how fake all of it was, they’d never again show up. Yeah, go ahead, call me an antisocial shrew. Now, the biggest…

Does Living with the Olds = The Death of Romantic Relations?

Originally posted on rinse before use:
By now, we have come to terms with the fact that the old-school Alpha male is no more and that the dating world is full of mummy’s boys. Look, it’s one thing for a man to have a healthy relationship with his mother but how about when he is still living under mummy’s roof at in his 30s? The sad truth is it’s not just the guys. These days a growing number of people (us chicks included) in their late 20s/30s/40s/50s that still live with the Olds. In today’s post I’d like to establish the impact of this trend of living in close quarters with Mummy and Daddy has on our romantic development (or lack thereof). Let’s start by drawing on some real life inspiration. Recently I went on a date with someone who forewarned me that the night could not go on beyond 8pm as he had to be home for dinner because Mummy was preparing his favourite! (How sweet – NOT!) Naturally, I only went along with the date…

Women Fear Men Will Leave Them; Men Fear Women Will Leave Them

Originally posted on definitelylorna:
I recently had a highly interesting convo with a security guard someplace in my line of duty. On a daily basis, I can talk to quite a number of people a majority being strangers and acquaintances and this security guard was no different. So being part of my job, I suggested to him an idea of how he could make himself more money and ultimately benefit his family. He was the skeptical type. Didn’t seem really interested in the suggestion but ended up mentioning his wife fleetingly. He thought that since she wasn’t as held up as he was, then she could probably take up the idea I had. Animatedly, I began coming up with more plans for the wife on how she could implement the idea and all of a sudden, this man grew highly uncomfortable. His demeanor changed and in an uncertain tone, he said, “Na sasa bibi akitengeneza pesa hivyo, si ataniwacha?” (and if my wife ends up making a ton of money, won’t she leave me?) Of…

A Little Love

Originally posted on Miss Toni Speaks:
Ten days ago my love and I celebrated six years of dating. On this day, we travelled to Reach Falls in Portland. It was a long journey but the beauty of this island was not lost on me. The rain was pouring when we arrived but we managed to have an enjoyable time regardless. I love road trips so that in itself was just great! It’s been six years of dating at long distance and I can’t help but wonder when that will end. There is no foreseeable end but at least we have decided to take certain moves towards that. I’m on the hunt for a job in his area and he in mine. I am so looking forward to a breakthrough because I would like to move past us only having a visiting relationship. I think one of the challenge is that we have not been intentional about it. It’s like we’re just waiting and if it happens, it happens. Or maybe it’s contentment, we’re just both so happy with…

Age Doesn’t Matter, Maturity Does

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Even when I was immature I think I was more mature than most people my age. When I was younger I dated someone older than me and I thought that I would continue that pattern because guys my age or younger just seemed sooo immature. Your age and your maturity level don’t always correlate. People say girls mature faster than boys, which may be true, but really everyone is different based on their life experiences. Age differences don’t really matter. You can connect to someone 50 years older than you or 20 years younger than you. Dating someone younger or older than you really just depends on the maturity level. Some people are a couple years ahead on their maturity level and some people are a couple years behind. Both are completely fine. If you’re 23 and feel that you’re as mature as a 33 year old – that’s completely fine. And you could easily have a happy relationship with someone ten years older than you. But they would also…

I’m Not Sold On Relationships

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
I’m not sold on relationships. I’m not sold on the idea of only being with one person for the rest of your life. Because I’m only in my 20’s and feel like I’ve been 10 different people already. How can someone tolerate that much growth in their self, let alone someone else? Plus all I’ve seen is the divorce rate sky-rocket. I’m not sold on fairytale romances where you meet “the one.” There are SO many people in the world and we’re only exposed to a small portion, even with the Internet. What are the chances you met “the one” at college in your home state? I’m not sold on dedicating your life to someone else. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be a little selfish, but in a relationship you shouldn’t be selfish at all. I’m not sold on the dynamic most relationships adapt. Just settling into the first thing that comes your way, changing your dreams for someone else. You had plans to move out of…

For Better, For Worse, or For Now?

*Disclaimer: for those of you that don’t pick up internet sarcasm well, in this post it’s everything written in italics. When I was in high school I used to jokingly say that I was probably going to get married twice. According to various articles, this joke is highly likely to be my reality. It’s commonly referred to as a starter marriage or beta marriage. For the past five or so years previous generations have been writing about how generation y is ruining changing the institution of marriage. The typical posts talk about how we’re getting married sooooo much later. Apparently we’re more likely to get married at 27 (women) and 29 (men) than 20 (women) and 23 (men). I guess it’s preferred that we pop out children right after high school, although we had to get permission to use the bathroom just 10 minutes ago. Some writers have even referenced television shows that perpetuate this behavior. The one thing these articles all have in common? Blaming social media, dating apps, and other forms of technology for our “change of …