All posts filed under: 90s Humor

Goosebumps Books That Give You Anything But

Originally posted on Cookies + Sangria:
I’m not particularly one for being scared. I don’t make it a habit of watching horror films and you won’t see me participating in one of those haunted mazes. When I was younger, I thought going on haunted hayrides and watching “scary movies” were fun, but my coping mechanism was to laugh off everything. HAHA THAT CREEPY STRANGER IN A MASK IS FOLLOWING US WITH A CHAINSAW THAT’S HILARIOUS AND MY KIND OF COMEDY. False. This is the exact opposite of what I wanted and needed in my life. As a result, I pretended to watch every episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? (I’ve seen a handful, because some of them are actually frightening) and also bought Goosebumps books from the Scholastic paper “catalog” but only really read one or two of them. Many say there are a number of R.L. Stine classics that really are spooky, but let’s leave it to them to critique. I’m here to echo my younger self’s sentiments and cope with the scariness…

Ferny spotted me looking at him – 4th & 5th February 1998

Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Wednesday 4thLena Hall told Ferny I fancy him. I don’t think they were lying coz Hayley told me and Lena admitted it. They said he asked, “Which Tess?” and looked embarrassed. Ahh! I told Dougie that he was going to blind someone with that coat of his outside Geography. He didn’t look very impressed! He kept asking me and Lizzie to go to the library with him but Miss wouldn’t let us. BYE! Thursday 5th I went to see the school’s production of Grease tonight. Everyone said we had the crap cast but they were all really good. I’ve underlined the cast we had in the programme. → It was really good and there were quite a few people I know in it. I’ve never been down B Block stairs so fast before today after I saw Ralph and Ferny behind me. I think Ferny spotted me looking at him actually. I’m still not sure if he knows who I am. I’ve got a new teacher for P.S.E. tomorrow…

Dougie asked where I was. Twice. – 17th January 1998

Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Saturday 17thI phoned Emma this morning. I wasn’t as bothered about it as I was last night so I thought I’d give her a chance to explain. Plus I was bored! She said she thought I knew she was going. She told me what had happened and said I hadn’t missed much except they all nearly got twatted in McDonald’s by these lads causing trouble. She also said Dougie asked where I was. Twice. The 1st time, he said, “Why hasn’t Tess come?” Emma told him I couldn’t be bothered and the 2nd time he said, “Where’s Tess again?” She then told me he said I was “quite quiet really” and that Ed agreed with him. Bastards! [I don’t know why I was always so offended at being called quiet. I was.] She said to them that I wasn’t and they just didn’t know me properly. She said I got off lightly and said they were slagging Hayley off and saying she was annoying. They can’t talk! Especially…

“Both of them wanna go out with you” – 18th January 1998

Originally posted on If Destroyed Still True:
Sunday 18thWell, only 4 of us ended up going to Bolton Water Place today. Sarah, Lizzie, Emma and I. We all met up at Emma’s and were going to get the bus. I got to the bus stop and realised I didn’t have enough change so I left the other 3 and ran home. Luckily there was someone in  and my mum ended up taking us all. It was quite busy at the Water Place and we kept seeing lookalikes. We thought we saw Will Fernley, Ralph, Neil Kennedy, Jez and Cleggy (Tim Clegg). They weren’t, they just looked like them. As soon as we got in the water. We saw 3 lads looking at us from the pool higher up. We thought we’d go up and see. One of ‘em was the Cleggy lookalike, only nicer. There was a little one who looked like Colin McKay (a lad in my sister’s year) and there was an older looking one who wasn’t fit with blonde hair. After a…

Are No Cartoon Marriages Sacred?

Originally posted on Cookies + Sangria:
If you are the kind of person who hates change, you would probably like being a cartoon character. Your whole wardrobe would be stocked with the same one outfit, it is usually the same vague season unless it is Christmas or Halloween, and you never move house (for more than an episode) because that would mean swapping your whole cast of characters. Oh, and if you were married, you stayed married. That was before. Now the sanctity of cartoon marriage is under attack, and I, for one, will not stand for it. It started when news leaked of a Homer and Marge Simpson separation. They have children. And now Kermit and Miss Piggy? They don’t have children … thank God… and they aren’t technically cartoons, they’re puppets… but seriously, won’t someone think of the adults? We don’t like this either. So from this point, I will not wait for the cartoon divorce announcements to come rolling in. These fake marriages are sacred, and if anyone is going to say whether or not they…

What Childhood Movies Taught Me…

Originally posted on Storytime with John:
I’ve been having myself a good old nostalgia fest today – thinking back to some of the best films I loved during my childhood (and still do!)  I suppose I didn’t realise it then…but a lot of the films were teaching me valuable lessons on life – and in many ways I owe everything I am now, to them! Here are ten of the most poignant philosophies that I, and millions of others were taught ~ 1. “That breakfast food is the best – and there is no such thing as too much…” (Uncle Buck) This lesson in particular, has held true all of my life. Although I am yet to use a snow shovel to make humongous pancakes – it is definitely on my bucket list. 2. “That they don’t sell human eyeballs in supermarkets…” (Jumanji)  Just in case they were ever on your grocery list. Also we learned that not all board games, make you bored – as the name may suggest. Obviously having Robin Williams present helps massively. 3. “That everyone…