In the 9th grade I broke up with the only real boyfriend I’ve ever had, he was heartbroken. Until he fell in love with another girl and subsequently cut me out of his life. So then I was heartbroken, I spent the next year and a half seriously messed up because for the first time I was really hit with insecurity. His new girlfriend was everything I could never be and he loved her for that (while at the same time hating me on her behalf). That’s when it started I think, my irrational fear of being a second choice and my downward spiral into single misery. Let me explain further.

Around the 11th grade I fell in love with my best friend. He was everything to me and I knew that I could see us fitting well together. But I spent the next two years denying to everyone that…