All posts tagged: modern dating

The Ups And Downs Of A Flirtationship

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Flirtationship (n) – A social situation that comprises of more than a friendship, but less than a relationship; when you regularly flirt with a friend but do no more. Flirtationships are tricky because they have no definitive lines. At the moment, this relationship is nothing. But could it be something? One person may think participating in a flirtationship could lead to something serious. Another could think that a flirtationship is just a something light and easy with no strings attached. The main aspect of a flirtationship is that nothing physical has occurred. There’s TONS of compliments exchanged, giggles, maybe some hand holding – but any kind of hook up beyond that would be a friends with benefits situation. Which is a whole other can of crazy. The upside of a flirtationship is that you are likely getting the attention you need. It occupies your time and satisfies your need for a little positive interaction. Especially when you’re not ready for a relationship. It barely takes up any of your real…

I Don’t Want a Boyfriend: And Other Things I Shouldn’t Have to Explain

I’m in my early twenties, fairly fresh out of college, and in the early stages of my career. Those alone are great reasons to not want a boyfriend. I have a 60 hour a week job, a side hustle, and various side projects. Relationships can be a part time job. Do I sound like I need another job? Right now, why would I want a boyfriend? Most of the men I’ve met, that are in my age range still behave like teenage boys. I’m a grown woman with an “old soul.” If that’s what I have to choose from… I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m not a lesbian. I’m not asexual. I haven’t sworn off of men. However, at the moment, I do not want a boyfriend. ________________________ Aren’t you worried about when you’ll get married or have kids? No, I’m in my early twenties, not approaching menopause. What about other things, like buying a house? Why doesn’t your generation buy homes? It’s not from lack of desire. It’s from lack of money. You see, the way …

Dating Shouldn’t Be This Exhausting

Originally posted on Am I Thirty Yet:
I’m tired. I’m tired of the first dates. I’m tired of the same conversations over and over again. I’m tired of making online dating profiles. I’m tired of sorting through dating profiles. I’m tired of waiting for a text back. I’m tired of trying to decode what the text means when I finally receive it. I’m tired of getting my hopes up just to be let down. I’m tired. I don’t know when dating became this exhausting. Before last year I had taken a significant break from dating. I went on a few first dates here and there but hardly ever a second one. I did date one boy for a few months but it never went anywhere. He was a great guy and we got along well. However, it was more of a friendship as I never had any physical or romantic feelings for him. For about two years, I was mostly out of the dating scene. And overall I was happy and carefree. I didn’t have much…

How to Deal with Debt Without Ruining Your Relationship

Originally posted on Millennials making cents of money:
Relationships can be hard enough, add money to the mix and it can be disastrous. Today, many millennials have student debt, credit card debt, auto loans, etc.  For the few that don’t, the odds are against you for finding a partner who doesn’t have any debt.  That doesn’t mean it’s impossible or that you shouldn’t date someone with debt. It just means you need to figure out how to talk about/manage debt before it becomes a problem to the relationship. Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia, says she frequently sees couples dealing with problems such as hiding debt from each other, blaming each other for their dual debt and “an attitude of ‘yours’ and ‘mine,’ which keeps the couple from working together on a solution.” As a couple, you must work through the debt together. Here are steps to help you with this process: Be honest. Some people feel they need to be ashamed of this debt, but let’s be real, college costs a…

I’m Glad It Didn’t Work Out (Part 1)

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
It took a lot for me to trust again after my first relationship. And then all the things that happened between that break up and you. All the ways I tried to get over heart break left me with zero trust. I couldn’t put a label on anything. Swore up and down I didn’t want a relationship in college. Especially not another long distance one. I wanted to do the opposite of everything I had done the first two years of college. I thought maybe I was getting over that phase when I had met you. I had hurt people, kind of purposefully but kind of on accident. I didn’t want to do that to you, so I refused the label of girlfriend and told you I wouldn’t commit. It drove you crazy and it drove me crazy that it drove you crazy. We went through each other’s phones, accused each other of everything under the sun. I’d sometimes hint at wanting a relationship. But I had stolen all of…

Beyond A Physical Relationship

Originally posted on Rosie Culture:
Terms such as “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” are pretty common these days. The hookup culture we live in means less relationships because our time is focused elsewhere. Whether we are career driven, education focused, dream chasing, or just plain selfish. There is a time in our life where relationships just aren’t possible so we avoid the emotional and lean towards the physical. But that time in your life where a relationship isn’t possible doesn’t last forever. There eventually is a time where you are emotionally and physically available. Some start to look for relationships at that time and some choose to veer from them still. There is a time in our lives where we are all ready to settle down, but instead of doing so some choose to stay in the “hooking up” or “friends with benefits” stage. Honestly, the physical thing just gets tiring. As if dating wasn’t hard enough, now you’re not sure if someone just wants to have fun or wants something serious. It’s like you…

OkCupid – The Deep End

Originally posted on Date By Number:
OkCupid analyzes its users’ data and publishes insights in The Deep End. Their recent article takes a look at the changes from 2005 to 2015, with some surprising results, staring with this question: It’s a dramatic drop, but my first reaction was that this could be a reflection of online dating becoming more common, rather than a major shift in sexual behavior. Maybe in 2005, online dating wasn’t as mainstream and OkCupid users tended to be more ‘adventurous’. Now that online dating is more common, the 2015 OkCupid users might include more conservative daters than it did before.  I thought my theory was pretty plausible, until I reached the following question: Any guesses as to why the two questions are trending in the opposite direction? You can find the whole article here. —- For more on OkCupid, see also: Hall of OkStupid #3 at The Lonely Tribalist