All posts tagged: sad

Physically ‘here’, but mentally ‘elsewhere’

Originally posted on F R E E D O M:
I could go, or so the argument goes… Logically, I could. All it takes is a few clicks and half a day stuck in a metal tube. Physically, I could. I’ve done it enough of times. Mentally, it’s a different story. I’m not ready (though am I ever ready.) The thing that gets me though is that, I don’t have ‘business’ being there. I don’t have business being there in the middle of November when it’s too late for autumn and too early for the Christmas bustle. November. It could just be the most depressing time of the year…but it doesn’t have to be, I could put it to good use (and not do the journey twice), I could stay put, stay here…stay and just stay. I look at faces on trains – all of them tired, few looking awake. I wonder about what they’re all thinking. My mom calls me and asks me how I am. I say tired, because I am, like another…

Male to Female, Gay to Straight: Losing My Identity

Originally posted on corybanticcory:
Transitioning has made my life really complicated… Especially lately. I’ve finally hit the point in my transition where people are starting to question what my gender is. I thought I would be excited, and I am, but I’m also so alone. Dating is a nightmare. I don’t really appeal to either sex right now. Everyone is sort of confused about how to look at me. Some people see a woman. Some people see a man. Some people see the potential to fall in love and others… they see friendship. I’ve been generally really happy since moving to San Francisco. I love it here. I live close to the beach, I have amazing roommates, and there’s so much to do. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for. I don’t ever want to leave. But this city isn’t the trans-utopia that I thought it was going to be. Most people don’t know how to date someone who is transgender. I’m transgender and I don’t even know how to date…