All posts tagged: identity

More Than a Bride

A funny thing happened when I got engaged. After nearly a year of engagement, it’s no longer comical. I’m having trouble being polite about it now. I’m starting to wish I had eloped. I became nothing more than a bride. With the exception of my closest friends, it seems no one knows what to say to me except, “How is the wedding planning going?” Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem if I had more interest in planning my wedding. But I am the world’s most lackadaisical bride. I’m the polar opposite of a bridezilla. Case in point: When my mother freaked out about how we were going to decorate the stage for the ceremony (nine months before my wedding), I appeased her by saying we could add some plants. She asked what type of plants I wanted. I replied, “Green ones.” People I have known for years no longer have anything to say to me except to ask about my wedding. People I barely know have offered to help plan it. People are also great …

Flaws make you beautiful.

Originally posted on Sun, Sand, Stars and Dreams:
Why is it that the one thing nearly every human being craves for, whether consciously or otherwise, is acceptance? Acceptance from peers, society, family, so on and so forth. Why are we so afraid to stand apart, for fear of being criticised? Why are we, other than a select few, afraid to stand up for what we believe is right, or for who we really are? Maybe it is just the way we are conditioned. To be no more than a clueless individual ourselves, and yet make fun of those who have it figured out, although maybe not in the conventional way, and make them doubt themselves. I remember being a person that I wasn’t, only so that I will be accepted by my classmates, my relatives. I did not recognise myself at all. That’s when I thought, fuck it all. I don’t care what others think of me. This is how I am going to be. After I did that, I managed to get a lot…

What you don’t know.

Originally posted on Chitchat:
I don’t have nicknames yet people still try to make it a thing. I have books on my shelf begging to be read yet I still find myself buying more. I doodle often and somehow they all end up looking like I tried to copy a five year old’s finger painting. And failed. When I can’t sleep at night, I go over the following day’s schedule again and again, trying to smooth out wrinkles in my plans. I try to save greeting cards and and letters but I always end up losing them. Actually, I lose a lot of things. When I go into a place with people I know, the grandiosity of my entrance will depend on my energy levels. I don’t look at myself in the mirror that often, but I feel like it is too much. Not because it is a vain or self-absorbed thing to do, but because I feel so much more confident when I’m not constantly reminded of the flaws in my physical appearance. A…

What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?

Originally posted on John Lee Taggart:
There’s much talk of ‘The Quarter Life Crisis’ nowadays…which seems to have toppled talk of ‘The Mid-Life Crisis’; a phrase I remember hearing a lot more of as a child in the 90s, on occasions when grown ups were behaving strangely and actually having fun – and when people who should know better were seemingly refusing to “act their age”. For instance if a man traded in his people carrier for a sports car he was essentially bordering on a nervous break down, or if a woman divorced a horrid specimen after many unhappy years she was considered an unstable wreck, or if a quiet balding office worker married his pet goat and began a passionate love affair he was somehow “weird”…well no more. That sort of rhetoric has been well and truly left behind and in its place a “you only live once” motto plaque has been welded down for the foreseeable future. Loathe that phrase…but I can’t deny it’s cultural implications. I am sure like most people you are happy to see such a positive switch; after all…

What it Means to Be a Woman

Originally posted on corybanticcory:
I used to think I had a pretty good grip on how people work. I used to think I understood what it meant to be a woman. If there’s one thing transitioning has taught me, it’s that I have a lot to learn. This week has been eye opening. I thought I was going to be so excited about my shopping trip or the fact that people are finally starting to think I’m “passable”. I’ve realized that none of that matters. In some of my previous blogs, I was really obsessed with being accepted, “passing”, and I dwelled on some of the more negative aspects of my transition. I’ve learned a few really big things lately. Firstly… It shouldn’t be about “passing”. It isn’t a test. It doesn’t matter whether or not other people think I’m “real”. The fact of the matter is that I am a “real” woman as I am now. Everything that changes from here on out is a part of me. Secondly… There is no end to…

What Do Young People Think About Religion in General?

Originally posted on Millennial Evangelical: One of the cornerstones of Millennial study is Soul Searching a book and study by Dr. Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton. Smith is the William R. Kenan, Jr. Professor of Sociology and Director of the Center for the Study of Religion and Society at the University of Notre Dame. The book, published in 2009, outlines the findings from a study by the National Study of Youth and Religion from July 2002 to March 2003. While much of what I write may be specifically tailored to mid-to-young Millennials, Smith’s book gives us important insight on the older Millennials that would have been interviewed in this study. The book is a trove of information about Millennials, but one of the biggest takeaways is a term he coined: moral therapeutic deism—more on that later, though. What do teens, or those who are now in their late-20s or early-30s, think about religion? When Smith interviewed a number of teens who consider themselves “nonreligious,” here is what they told him about religion. These are actual quotes from …

What’sa Motto With You?

For those of you who are cultured, you know that line is from Lion King. If not, perhaps you’re familiar with the phrase Hakuna Matata (what a wonderful phrase). Hakuna Matata ain’t no passing craze. It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It’s my problem free philosophy. Hakuna Matata. I’m not sorry. I had to do it! A lot has happened in the past month. There have been race issues, nude photos leaking (gender issues), and inappropriate rape tweets (sexual issues). I’m going to keep my response short and simple. Why do these things matter? Race, gender, sexuality. Honestly, they shouldn’t. By that I mean, these are all important things. Many people have branches of their identity that stem from some or all of them. However, my race, gender, sexuality, and so forth should NOT BE A PROBLEM. They are not harmful to anyone and therefore should not be a problem. Perhaps the terms I’m putting this in are too simple, however I’m failing to understand any logic that claims they have the right to …