Once upon a time I got dumped and just did not know how to deal. I felt like I had failed the relationship, my boyfriend, myself. I thought I didn’t really deserve to fall in love again – like I had missed my chance.

And time and time again I was thrown into dating scenarios where everything I thought after that break up was confirmed. I was treated poorly. I treated people poorly. I had no sense of “I deserve better than this” or “I can be better.” I didn’t think those things, I accepted the insults and the cheating and the lies. I reciprocated them happily. I accepted the horrible treatment because I felt like a horrible person.

Even when I came around to realizing that I’m not a horrible person, the dating scenarios never changed. I became happier and better only to still not have the wholesome relationship that I…