I’m in my early twenties, fairly fresh out of college, and in the early stages of my career.

Those alone are great reasons to not want a boyfriend.

I have a 60 hour a week job, a side hustle, and various side projects. Relationships can be a part time job. Do I sound like I need another job?

Right now, why would I want a boyfriend?

Most of the men I’ve met, that are in my age range still behave like teenage boys. I’m a grown woman with an “old soul.” If that’s what I have to choose from…

I don’t want a boyfriend.

I’m not a lesbian. I’m not asexual. I haven’t sworn off of men.

However, at the moment, I do not want a boyfriend.

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Aren’t you worried about when you’ll get married or have kids? No, I’m in my early twenties, not approaching menopause.

What about other things, like buying a house? Why doesn’t your generation buy homes? It’s not from lack of desire. It’s from lack of money. You see, the way our student loans and hourly pay are set up…

Why don’t you all try staying at a job for more than a few years? We’d love to, but doing grunt work for 20 years in hopes of moving up isn’t in my plan. It’s 2016. Why would it be in anyone’s plan?

Don’t you know the best four years of your life are behind you? Anyone more than five years out of college, who can honestly say college or high school were the best years of their lives, has lived a sad life.

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Lightening Round:

Yes, I fucking love living by myself.

Of course I’m not getting enough sleep.

Entitlement is not a young people issue, it’s an American issue.

I would love to save most of my money, but the way my loans, paycheck, and life obstacles are set up…

I would love to travel. See point above.

Yes, I have heard of whatever 80s or 90s reference you’re about to discuss.

Technology doesn’t make people lazy. It’s the reason why you have no excuse for being lazy.

Any other questions?