The Hoe Handbook

In as brief a way as we can put it, we are four college best friends. We come from different areas (even different states) but we’re sure that it was fate that we met.

Hoe 1 is very emotional which is probably what fuels her creative side, but she is also quite logical and loves giving advice to her fellow Hoes.

Hoe 2 is very determined and intense in everything she does, but also loves running around and being wild.

Hoe 3 can simply be described as super organized, flirty, and a kick-ass dancer.

Hoe 4 always keeps us on track and gets us up and moving when we need to be, she also never says no to a party!

The basic version of how we met would be that Hoes 1,2, and 3 all lived on the same floor freshman year, so they met and bonded quickly during orientation. The three of them then met Hoe 4 at a party that she had come to without any other girl friends. A few months later we had become the tight-knit group that we are today!
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Four girls navigating life one post at a time

Life, Food & Culture, Music, Sex & Dating

The Hoe Handbook actually came about in a very spontaneous way. Hoe 1 had mentioned how she wanted to start a blog and the other Hoes thought it would be fun to join in on it, Hoe 4 proposed the name (inspired from our group chat which is named “Da Hoes”) and then we got things started! Throughout the school year we had made this list of rules to live by and quotes and other funny things that had happened to us all on Hoe 1’s phone. We realized that having a blog would be a better way of keeping track of these memories, and so the premise of the blog was formed! As a whole we’re just normal girls; we have crushes and we make mistakes, we love to laugh and ugly dance, and we really hold the bond of our friendship on a high pedestal.

The purpose of creating this blog was for us to be able to look back on this time in our lives and remember our thoughts, feelings, and the various shenanigans we got ourselves into. We never dreamed that people other than ourselves would be interested in what we had to say. We found that throughout all these wild moments we learned a lot about life. The blog has grown now to be a place for advice, humor, and something that other college students can relate to. We’re not entirely sure what our end goal is, but we suppose that long term we’d love to get more and more people reading our blog and finding it entertaining! We’d also like to gain a larger presence on social media such as Twitter.

FACTS ABOUT THE HOES

How did you meet your best friend?

My best friend and I met in the sixth grade. We knew each other generally in elementary school but it wasn’t until our first year of middle school that we really became friends. This is because we had every class together, when you see somebody that often you can’t help but start to have things in common. We were friends in class but then took it over to sitting together during lunch when I realized that she ate lunch with one of the cutest boys in our grade (I had to get myself in on that). I suppose my boy crazy side did make my friendship intentions a little selfish at the time, but in the end the boy didn’t stick and my best friend did. She’s always been there for me and I love her more than anything (she’s an honorary hoe in my mind).

Always with love,

Hoe 1

What is your weirdest scar and how did you get it?

It all started about 3 weeks after move in day freshman year. I was just getting through adjusting to life as a free college student. I woke up one Tuesday morning and went to use the bathroom. I felt dizzy and a little bit nauseous, and at first I started thinking I got drunk the night before and must have forgot (I wasn’t, it was a sober Monday night of just watching The Bachelor!) When I went to wash my hands, I fainted and cracked my jaw on the sink. I woke up a few minutes later to one of our floormates standing over me very frantic, and blood all over the place (ew). I was soon transported to the hospital on a super embarrassing stretcher in front of my whole dorm. People kept posting on yik yak saying I got transported to the hospital because I was drunk (still feel like I might have been, but according to others I was indeed sober). I had to go all by myself, with no phone or wallet and in my pajamas. I got 5 stitches in my chin, which made it look like I was growing a beard (also unpleasant). I still remember coming out on the stretcher and seeing Hoe 1 and Hoe 3 sadly watching me go (they were already my best friends).

With Love,

Hoe 2

What age do you feel right now?

Right now I am torn between two ages. First I feel like I am 6 years old. I see a sunny August day and immediately yearn to be spending it at my country club swimming all day and playing pool games like I did throughout my childhood summers. I want to be goofy with my cousins and siblings and just run around and be crazy. I want to color in coloring books and throw hissy fits when I don’t get my way and baby crushing on every boy I see. I want to be super excited about starting school because it’s only first grade and I don’t have any real work just lots of fun stationary…And then at times I feel like I am a mature 25 year old just starting out her career and life. I feel like I have my shit together (most of the time) and that I want to be living in an apartment of my own commuting to my job which will be a modest position in a big-time company with plenty of room to move up. I want to be contributing to a company or project where I am using my individual talents and collaborating with other talented people. I see the possibilities in front of me for personal and professional growth and although I dream about having a family one day, I am certainly not ready for it just yet. I still feel like spending weekend nights (and a week night here and there) at a bar with friends and attractive men in suits. I’m definitely not finished with making mistakes just yet, but I am on the right track. If you subtract 6 from 25 you get 19, so I guess I’m right at the age I should be 🙂

Xoxo,

Hoe 3

What is one of the weirdest things you used to do as a teenager?

When I was in high school and my friends and I had nothing to do (which was often) we would go to a parking lot, which we lovingly nicknamed SPL (scary parking lot). We would set up lawn chairs and just hangout in this dark parking lot. It wasn’t just my friend group either, the majority of my grade would come to SPL and we would all just sit around. Even though we didn’t do anything wrong (most of the time) the cops would still come and kick us out, so we would drive around the block and then go back. We came to realize later that they didn’t actually care that we were there but people were getting annoyed that we were “giving our town (a rather affluent suburb outside a big city) a bad look”. Whenever I look back on this time I laugh to myself at how weird it was that we would sit in a parking lot when we had so many other places that we could have gone. Now, whenever my friends and I pass SPL on the weekends we make sure to look and see if anyone happened to have set up the lawn chairs….no one ever does.